Fuck me for believing.

I hate when I give myself hope in finding a relationship.  Every time I start to give myself hope it slowly gets crushed and I go back in to my little hidey hole of a world.  I know it’s not the best thing for me but, fuck at least I am not on this fucking roller coaster and mine is probably a small one compared to some peoples world.  I just jump off before I get to low in my world.  It’s not worth being down there.  I would rather stay around level then go through all of this.  Fuck the worst part about all this is that I have only talked with her for 5 minutes and texted back and forth. I just think if we actually talked we would probably hit it off but, every time I see her we are drunk.  Then it’s like finding a needle in a haystack to get together again.  I am not sure what the deal is but, it is surely not my world that is keeping this from happening.  Fucking kind of dislike the fact that I opened the door again even though it was only open a crack a flood of emotions have been rolling out of me since Saturday.  Fuck how to people deal with this shit all the time.  I am getting close to locking the door and throwing the key away again until someone comes along with their own key.  End this rant so I can figure out what to do.


About batmaninhiding

I am just a regular person with random things to chat about.
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