So last night was the start of softball season and our game got canceled because the park district doesn’t know how to turn on some lights. I don’t know if that had any link in to my dreams but, this was my dream as much of it as I can remember and hopefully the right order.
So I am out an about on the town and I meet this girl Minka. Well, we have a great night dancing and we end up sleeping together. I apparently fall in love with her and we are dating but, I could never get her to commit to marrying me. She was a big time model and I just thought that was the reason. We were out and about and the paparazzi always were following us around. I remember thinking in my dream that I didn’t really care and it wasn’t a big deal.
Then it jumps to a random night in the bar and I am out with some friends and we run in to this older gentleman and my friends know him and I recognize him but, I am unsure of his actual name. We sit around all night and people will not tell me his name. They give me hints all night but, won’t tell me who it is. In my dream this goes on for hours and they never tell me. Right at the end of the night before we are leaving finally someone tells me who it is. His name is Mr. Kelly you know (I forget the name) Tom Kelly’s dad. I was like oh the kid from high school. They were like yea. I was like wtf wouldn’t you tell me who it is. They were like it just seemed fun.
So a few more days go by and I go to meet this Girl Minka in Alaska. I don’t even remember the reason why it was there but, then I start talking to her and she says she loves me and will not marry me until her mom gives her permission. Then I was like let me meet your mom and she was like no. It was super frustrating in my mind that this was going on like this.
Fast forward some time. I was out and about again and I was talking to Mrs. Kelly not sure why but, during this conversation she was asking me about why I used to pick on her daughter and I couldn’t even remember her daughter. We have a super long discussion about shit I did in high school to her daughter and about the girl I was dating back then and all this really weird shit. I apologized for the shit I did and I never really remembered doing it. How the girl I was dating was a bitch to a lot of people and how after we broke up I used to get asked how I could date a person that was so mean all the time. To this day when I was dating her I don’t really ever remember her being that mean but, apparently when I wasn’t around she was an complete condescending bitch to everyone. Well, after this conversation Mrs. Kelly was like. You can now marry my daughter. I was like your daughter but, I have a girlfriend and she won’t marry me because her mom doesn’t like me. Then out comes Minka and everything finally was clear to me.
That dream just fucked my mind over. I don’t really know wtf that was all about but, it sure is crazy in my mind.
Now, that was about 4 hours ago that dream ended. I have been thinking about this in the back of my head pretty much since then. Part of the dream to me makes me think that my current path of change is being blocked by something I have done in my past or maybe it’s about some of the stuff I have been writing about here and has finally opened a wall I put up a long time ago to forget my past. Now that I have started dealing with it that my mind is telling me it time to move and let things heal properly instead of the bottled up version I used to be. It could be telling me that I screwed some people over it the past and it is time to make amends with them or maybe I have already made amends but, I never accepted them as amends because the things I did were far worse in my mind than they were in their minds. Who knows but, I hope to keep moving forward now that I have opened the bottle.